Dating for attached women 18+ Wanted again, on your terms.
ALTER is a discreet dating app for women who are married or in a relationship. Nobody can message you until you accept their request, nobody sees you browsing unless you want them to, and your face stays blurred until you decide who gets to see it, and for how long.
- Requests, not an inbox
- Invisible Mode
- Blurred by default
- Every man verified
Nobody gets in uninvited.
On most dating apps, a woman's inbox fills up before she has decided anything. ALTER turns that around. Men can't send you a message until you accept their request. Requests wait in your Lounge, each one under an alias and a blurred photo, and you go through them when it suits you: on a lunch break, once the house is quiet, or not at all this week.
Accept, and a conversation opens. Leave a request where it is, and nothing from that person reaches you. You never owe anyone a reply.
3 requests waiting for you
LoungeJulian, 38
Architect
Rhys, 41
Investment banker
Atlas, 36
Surgeon
Look around without being looked at.
Invisible Mode takes you out of everyone's search while you browse. Explore verified men nearby, read their profiles and decide who interests you, without showing up in anyone's results yourself. When you're ready to be found, switch it off.
Distance is always an approximation, such as 5 km away, and never your exact location. If you'd rather not show even that, hide your distance in your privacy settings.
Your face is yours to give.
Every photo on ALTER starts blurred. When someone asks to see you, you choose whether to say yes and for how long: an hour, a day, a week or a month. When the time is up, your photo blurs again on its own. There's nothing to remember to take back.
Private albums work the same way. They open only for the people you grant access to, and only for as long as you choose.
Protected from day one.
Three protections are on before anyone sees your profile: Invisible Mode, Screenshot Block and Anti-Harassment filters. You don't have to go looking for them in a settings menu after something has already gone wrong.
Every man on ALTER passed a live selfie check and a human review before he could appear to you, and only verified members can message anyone. If someone makes you uncomfortable, report him. You can also write to safety@thealter.app at any time.
- Live-selfie verifiedEvery member proves he's a real person before his profile goes live.
- Reviewed by a personA member of our team checks each new profile, usually within 48 hours.
- Professional badgeSome men also confirm what they do with a work email or a document. Look for the badge.
Your phone stays your own.
ALTER opens only with your PIN or fingerprint and locks itself the moment you switch to another app. You appear under an alias, never your real name. Messages are end-to-end encrypted and vanish within the hour, so there's no conversation history waiting to be found.
If you ever want out, delete everything from Settings: your profile, your photos, your matches and your messages.
Questions, asked quietly.
Something else on your mind? Write to support@thealter.app. We keep it between us.
ALTER is free to download. Plans for messaging are offered inside the app.
No. A man has to send you a request first, and nothing from him reaches you unless you accept it.
Not from your profile alone. You appear under an alias with a blurred photo, and Invisible Mode keeps you out of search while you browse. Only the people you grant access to see your photo clearly, and only for the time you choose.
Yes. Every member passes a live selfie check and a human review before anyone sees their profile. ALTER doesn't run bots or paid profiles.
Switch on Invisible Mode to step back without leaving, or request deletion from Settings to remove your profile, photos, matches and messages.
More about ALTER.
- For himVerified women, no bots, and an approach that's actually welcome.
- DiscretionAlias, blur, vanishing messages and the PIN lock: every privacy feature, explained.
- SafetyLive selfies, human review and no bots: how ALTER keeps members real and safe.
- Ashley Madison alternativeAn honest comparison with the best-known name in discreet dating.
- Gleeden alternativeWomen first, like Gleeden, with every member verified and every photo blurred.
Your alter is waiting.
Free to download. 18+ only.
iPhone
The iOS app is on its way. Leave an email and you'll hear first.